it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
