STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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