somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
