So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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