puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
