I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
