Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
