According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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