my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it's like iHOP with fire
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
