Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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