I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize