I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
