you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize