Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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