bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
