We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
