Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
