why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
