I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
