Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
