At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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