at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
