Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
A+ Viking dick
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
