So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
