yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
