you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
