We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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