it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Is it because I queefed?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
