how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
