Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize