okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize