I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
As shirtless as possible
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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