What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
