Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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