stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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