He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
