Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
