We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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