You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
