The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize