Pappa wants mamma naked
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
