just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
