in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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