Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
