24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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