i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
soo... how was my night?
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