addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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