Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
