God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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