i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
