i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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