I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
