I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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