So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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