i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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