eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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