Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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