okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
