I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
